Unwritten Rules

Relation to Parent Topic

Unwritten rules, as the name suggests, describes an unwritten and assumed code of conduct within a workplace that all employees are expected to adhere to, while never being explained explicitly. Unwritten rules can be a particularly challenging aspect of the corporate environment for Autistic individuals, as they encompass the social norms, expectations, and corporate culture that may not be immediately intuitive for an autistic individual but are essential for building professional relationships and achieving career advancement. Some examples of problematic unwritten rules include; don't contradict your boss publicly, being respectful to all staff including secretaries and janitors (even if you don't work directly with them), dress code, when to take vacations, and navigating flex hours.

Key Challenges

• Difficulty in interpreting social cues and body language that signal unwritten rules.
• Feeling overwhelmed from the implicit expectations of behavior in various corporate situations, leading to anxiety.
• Struggles with adapting communication styles to fit different corporate cultures, which can vary significantly between organizations.
• Challenges in networking and establishing rapport with colleagues due to uncertainty about social norms leading to lack of participation.

Strategies

• Engage in active observation of peers to identify and learn unwritten rules in various contexts.
• Seek mentorship from a trusted colleague who can provide guidance on navigating social situations and expectations.
• Participate in social skills training or workshops focused on corporate environments to enhance understanding of unwritten rules.
• Practice role-playing scenarios to familiarize oneself with typical interactions and appropriate responses.

Examples

• A new employee noticing that colleagues often discuss personal topics during lunch breaks, which helps them understand the importance of building personal connections.
• An autistic individual observing that during meetings, it is customary to wait for a pause in conversation before contributing, rather than interrupting.
• A scenario where an employee learns that casual greetings and small talk in the hallway are expected, even if they feel unnecessary, to maintain workplace relationships.
• An autistic employee notices that even on "casual Fridays" all of their colleagues still consistently show up in formal attire, and decides to do the same.

Action Steps

• Identify specific situations where unwritten rules may apply (e.g., meetings, social events).
• Observe how colleagues interact in these situations for a week without participating, taking notes on behaviors and communication styles.
• Set up a one-on-one meeting with a colleague to discuss their experiences and gain insights about unwritten rules specific to the company culture.
• Create a list of common unwritten rules identified from observations and discussions, and practice incorporating them into daily interactions.
• Regularly reflect on personal experiences in social situations to identify successes and areas for improvement, adjusting strategies as needed.